


The Slut and The Falcon

by hannahwrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Era, I'm Sorry, Inspired by The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Kinda AU But Not Really, M/M, Marauders, Remus is a poor little soul, Sirius is a dick, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:35:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6058420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahwrites/pseuds/hannahwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perks Of A Wallflower (Patrick/Brad) inspired<br/>Basically, Sirius is a dick who uses Remus when he's drunk. (Remus might also be an itty bitty little bit in love with Sirius)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Slut and The Falcon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my dear Charlie (for getting me into this whole wolfstar thing. thanks.)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+dear+Charlie+%28for+getting+me+into+this+whole+wolfstar+thing.+thanks.%29).



Remus woke up alone in his bed in the dorm, once again. He could still feel the taste of alcohol in his mouth though he sure as hell hadn’t drunken a single drop. He lifted his blanket to see he was indeed not wearing anything, like expected. With a heavy sigh he got up, his blanket wrapped around him, grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom.

In the big mirror he examined his body, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. One slightly blueish hand print on his hipbone, a bite mark on his neck and nail tracks on his ribs. That was a surprisingly pleasant outcome. 

He stepped under the hot spray of the shower, wincing slightly when the water touched the scratches on his chest. Remus just stood in the shower for a long time, eyes closed, head tilted back, trying to wash everything away: the memories from last night, how filthy he felt right now and the knowledge of what was to come. He ran his fingers through his hair, untangling it, washing the sweat and sweet smell of alcohol away. Rubbing every part of his body he tried to wash away that other smell, the smell of sex and regret. He was used to this.

When he got out of the shower he felt numb, emotionless, as usual. He looked at himself in the mirror and felt so detached from his body, from his mind, that his heart started to ache. With a stern look he straightened his shoulders and told himself to fucking man up and stop being a whiny bitch. He was used to this after all. 

Even after showering for what felt like an eternity, Remus still arrived first for breakfast in the Great Hall. Peter followed shortly after, greeting him tiredly. He too had gotten slightly too drunk last night, Remus as the only sober one worrying slightly whether he would make it back to the dorm on his own. His thoughts had been taken off everything by a certain someone who demanded all this attention soon though.

Speaking of the devil, James and Sirius entered the Great Hall, looking so hungover and absolutely miserable that even Remus couldn’t help but grin. Then Sirius flopped down next to him in a respectable friendly distance with a groan and Remus’ smile faded instantly. He bit his lip…one…two… “Man, was I wasted last night” Sirius never failed to disappoint Remus’ expectations. “I can’t remember a single fucking thing” Remus winced a little and mentally slapped himself. 

“Well you were all in the dorm when I left this morning” Remus said with a forced smile. “Moooony you’re such a party pooper.” James whined playfully. “Not everyone’s stomach is as alcohol-tolerant as yours my dear James” he answered, putting his fork down on his plate. “Have fun nursing your hangover, I’ll study for a bit.” 

\- - - -   
“I’m so pissed” Sirius half-slurred into Remus’ neck, then proceeded to suck on his collarbone. He should be used to this by now, he should be fucking used to it and still it felt like he got stabbed and Remus was mad, he was so mad. But how long can you stay mad when you’re in bed naked with Sirius Black, drunk or not, sucking and biting on every spot of skin he can find? “Sirius” Remus whispered, pushing the other boy’s head away from his jawline where he had apparently found a nice spot to latch on, “It will be visible” he added and immediately Sirius stopped. Remus bit his lip and swallowed hard to stop himself from screaming.

He was hurting and it was Sirius fault. Sirius was bright and beautiful and Sirius was toxic. Sirius burned in Remus’ brain and Remus’ heart and every fiber of Remus’ body and he tore him apart. Remus was an intelligent boy. He knew Sirius was like acid and he knew he shouldn’t let him in time and time again and he knew he should throw him out of his bed and his heart too, now and forever. The problem was, he was addicted. He fell for Sirius like a drug and if this was the only way he could have him, drugged up, drunk out of his mind, if that made him like Remus and kiss his skin the way he did then he would take it, take it all for Sirius. 

“Sirius…Padfoot come on” Remus pushed Sirius softly to wake him up from where he lay, wrapped around Remus, his hands tangled in Remus’ hair. “Sirius” he hissed “Get up. Everyone will be awake soon” Sirius rubbed his eyes confusedly until he realised where he was. As if stricken by lightning he pulled away, eyes hardening. “Whatever happened here, it never happened. I hope you know that,-“ he looked like there was another word on his lips, just waiting to jump out and attack Remus but he got up and went to the bathroom without looking back. And Remus could take this, he could take it. He was used to this. 

\- - - -  
Remus entered the Common Room at half past ten pm after he got thrown out of the library and sent up to the Gryffindor tower. As soon as he had climbed through the portrait hole he was greeted with a cheerful chant of “Moony Moony Moony Moooonyyy”. Of course by no one else than Sirius. And only seconds later he flung himself into Remus’ arms, pressing a kiss to his neck. “Sirius!” Remus hissed and pushed him away, maybe a bit too hard. “Mate, he’s so, so drunk” James laughed, obviously drunk himself. 

“It’s Wednesday what the fucking hell is wrong with you guys?” Remus said, sharper than originally intended. He was tired, so tired of it. “Paaaarty poooooper” Peter sing-songed, but Remus was already halfway up the stairs to their dorm. Entering it and slamming the door after him, an absolutely un-Remus thing to do, he laid down on his bed, fully dressed, starring at the ceiling and feeling numb once again. 

And, also once again, only a minute later the door opened again. “Sirius please” he begged in a whisper “Please don’t.” But Sirius wouldn’t be Sirius if he listened. He sat down on the bed next to Remus and leaned down, kissing him on the mouth without hesitation, slobbery and wet. “Sirius I can’t, I can’t deal with this” There was no reaction from the other boy, he just proceeded to bite down Remus’ lip gently. “I’m not joking, please Sirius, please” Remus begged. He knew himself too well, knew he wouldn’t and couldn’t push Sirius away when he was like this, affectionate and soft. He didn’t want Sirius to go away, he wanted him to stay and kiss him and run his hands along his body and whisper sweet things into his ear but he was toxic and Remus couldn’t take it, couldn’t let himself become depended more than he already was. 

But Sirius didn’t stop and it was so sweet and loving, the way he caressed Remus’ cheek and kissed every part of his body he could reach and he was currently kissing him so softly and Remus couldn’t think. 

And then he could think again because the door opened and a confused and drunk and disturbed James Potter stood in the door-frame, staring disbelievingly at Remus and Sirius and Sirius was pushing Remus square in the chest, hard and it hurt but he didn’t feel it because Sirius’ face was panic and then he opened his mouth and he glared at Remus so coldly and Remus’ heart froze and finally finally Sirius said something and “What the fuck dude??” and he laughed and the blood in Remus’ veins boiled and then froze and he was numb and so so mad and Sirius and James looked at him with utter disgust and he got up and stormed out of the room.

\- - - -  
“Remus? Remus, child what are you doing here?” Madam Pince touched his shoulder softly. Remus spent so much time in the library, she knew him and especially his taste in books quite well and she really cared about him. “Did you sleep here? Oh lord almighty, are you alright my dear?” she fussed, checking Remus’ forehead for a fever. “I’m fine, it’s fine thank you. Do not worry about me, it’s okay. Just had some stress with my dorm mates but that’s gonna be fine too” He managed a half-hearted smile but the librarian seemed to accept it. “Well you should go and get some breakfast Remus” she said with a smile, patting his arm and returning back to sorting books. 

Remus got up and braced himself, putting a mental armor on. He was still mad but there was even more disbelief. Sirius, the one who had started approaching him two years ago, who shared secret touches with him, who knew his body by heart, the one who fucking took his virginity, the one who would crawl into his bed and just start kissing him everywhere, this Sirius, his Sirius. He couldn’t believe that Sirius could do that to him, after all. 

Entering the Great Hall he immediately spotted James and Sirius sitting together at the Gryffindor table, looking less miserable than usually after drinking. Remus went over and sat down too, near them and near enough to hear them but not really with them. “Oh look who has decided to join us…dear Remus” Sirius sneered. Remus looked up from his plate and raised one eyebrow at Sirius, shaking his head in disbelief. “Where did you sleep? Did another one of your lover-boys offer you his bed?” James joined him. Remus flinched but his eyes never left Sirius. He raised an eyebrow “Don’t you think it’s time to talk about your part in this, Sirius?”

Sirius’ face paled for a second but then his eyes turned to ice once again. “My part? You mean the fact that I just went up to the dorms to check if you were okay because you seemed a bit off and you throw yourself on me??” Remus laughed dryly. Once he started laughing he suddenly realised he couldn’t stop, like a panic reaction, his brain shutting down and just desperately doing whatever the fuck it wanted. “So that’s what they call having an affair but only ever even looking at the other one when you’re fucking pissed off your head?” he asked, still laughing. Sirius visibly paled again. James just stared back and forth between them confusedly. “You-“ Sirius hissed and got up slowly “what are you talking about” his voice was hard and controlled as he rounded the table to stand close to Remus who had gotten up too. “You know that damn fucking well” Remus whispered. They were so close to each other Remus could feel Sirius’ breath on his face. It smelt of alcohol, still. Remus pulled his scarf down a bit, exposing a purplish hickey. “You get fucking drunk…then you come to me like a whiny, horny little baby and-“ he didn’t see it coming, didn’t expect it, didn’t think Sirius would ever do that, but his hand, his fist rushed up to Remus’ face, hitting him, hard. 

Remus could feel warm blood running out of his nose, touching his lip. He just stared at Sirius and Sirius stared at him, both full of disbelief. Remus could hear blood dripping to the floor. “I don’t know what’s fucking wrong with you, Sirius, but you should get it fixed soon before you go and use some more people.”

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
> (I'm just really bad at expressing emotions)


End file.
